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<p>Babel</p> <p>A film review by Scott Wood </p> <p>For Critical-film.com </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p>A little parental advisory warning goes out to start this article, because I'm dropping the f-bomb like a crazy mo-fo on “ Babel ,” the movie that will most definitely win the Oscar for best picture this year. </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p>Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu directed an absolutely brilliant film in 2000 entitled “Amores Perros;” it is a picture I will never forget. </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p>He then went on to make “21 Grams” which sported some brilliant performances that were completely neutered by an overly stylistic film style. There were good things about it, but I thought it was merely a case of a filmmaker's sophomore jinx via trying to do too much the second time around. </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p>I guess I was wrong because Inarritu's latest film is the bitch of the bunch. “ Babel ” is heavy-handed, sappy, unrealistic, clich&eacute;, horseshit, boring, a waste of time and talent, depressing, crappy, wholly predictable, and far too fucking long. You should get a medal if you managed to sit through the entire thing, and slapped if you fell for it. </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p>“ Babel ” is another one of those movies where everybody's lives are connected in some way (this time on a more global scale), and where everyone's life totally sucks. The parents (Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett) are having marital problems because one of their kids died. Then the wife gets unexpectedly shot. The kids are dealing with the aftermath of their baby brother dying, and due to a crazy mix-up, end up being lost in the desert. The person who shot the wife is really just a perverted tween-year-old kid whose family is poor and carelessly fires a rifle at a bus. His brother ends up dying as a result (we're supposed to be surprised and saddened by this, so act it and don't tell anyone I said anything). There's also a hearing-impaired Japanese girl who starves for attention because her mother committed suicide, and she's… well… deaf, so she can't get a guy to notice her. And all of these stories intersect in a zigzag type way that I'm sure the audience has seen a thousand times by now, and be honest people: Are we really surprised, and pleased to put the pieces together as they are presented to us? Is it really clever anymore? Does anyone actually still fall for this? Do we seriously give a shit? </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p>Well obviously we do, because “ Babel ” will take in a lot of Oscars this season. And we'll get the same recycled crap again next year. And people will talk about how “powerful” the film is, and how “real” it feels, and they'll all just be talking out of their asses because that's where their heads shoved. </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p>Fuck. Me. </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p>(One and a half stars) </p> <p>&nbsp; </p> <p class="style1">This review was provided in HTML format, as your browser is not capable of displaying flash content. To experience Critical-Film.com the way it was meant to be seen, please download the flash player from <a href="http://www.adobe.com/shockwave/download/download.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash&promoid=BIOW">Macromedia</a>.</p>