The miracle of my Date Movie experience is that I managed to sit through the entire painfully unfunny mess, without turning it off. These are the pains I endure for you my friends, so you don't have to endure the same torturous time spent watching movies like Date Movie. Ah, the drawbacks of being a movie critic. You can't win ‘em all, I guess.

The so-called story involves a young woman (Alyson Hannigan of TV's “Buffy”), and her quest to find true love. The film strings together numerous parodies of both recent and classic films, in a fashion which is not surprisingly similar to the Scary Movie films. The difference is that while the original Scary Movie was funny, Date Movie is terribly unfunny. I would expect that only a very small percentage of the people who actually see this film, will find it funny in any way.

The parodies cover nearly everything from Pretty Woman to more current releases, such as Wedding Crashers, to completely unrelated subjects such as televisions “Pimp my Ride”. Once again, there is nary a laugh to be found.

This is probably the shortest review I will ever write, as I have nothing more to say. The film is unnecessarily crude, and I am surprised it managed a PG-13 rating, however the version under review is the recently released ‘unrated' DVD. I can't extend any sort of recommendation, as it is impossible for me to believe that anyone could enjoy this movie.

I leave it in your hands, but don't say I didn't warn you. Its 73 minutes of your life, which you'll never get back. Valuable time which could have been spent doing something productive like beating your skull in with a very blunt object, or doing handstands on a blisteringly hot grease pan, or something of the like.