Friday the 13th is in its 11th day of release at the time of this writing, and was, perhaps not unexpectedly, No.1 at the box office in its opening weekend. I was witness to the ridiculous turnout on opening night, and, as a result, had to torture myself by sitting in the second to front row, craning my neck to even see the screen, my eyes darting from one side to the next in an attempt to follow the action. But... that's enough about the movie-going experience, as I'm sure you've all probably sat in a crowded movie theatre, at least once or twice in your lives.

Now, I've been pondering this review for the past ten days, asking myself if it's really worth even commenting on... While I had originally intended on passing on writing this review, I've decided that the film has a small amount of merit which may deserve to be acknowledged. But first, you must understand my mentality, and reasoning for even watching this film, in the first place.

Anyone who knows me can attest to my love of the horror genre. I am an enthusiast of film as a medium, regardless of genre, yet I have an appreciation for the horror film unlike any other film category. Horror is the only genre in which one can find as much enjoyment in a film that fails to deliver its intended goods (In this case - the scares), as one that succeeds. I have a passion for this genre like no other, and this is why, and I'm sure many will agree, I get incredibly frustrated when studios 're-imagine' a 'classic horror' film, as very little of the qualities that made the originals great are represented in the remakes. Case in point – Marcus Nispel's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003 redux. Never have I seen a film that bastardized the original so unapologetically... and as such I wasn't completely looking forward to Nispel's Friday the 13th 2009 redux.

Bear with me, readers; we're getting to the actual film review in just one second... this will hopefully help you understand my rationale for rating the film as I did.

There were three things that swayed me to see the film, against what I interpreted as 'my better judgement'. First, the original Friday the 13th isn't as near to my heart as the original Texas Chainsaw... So, I could deal with, and perhaps even understand a little tinkering and refinement of the formula of the original. It's far from a masterpiece, so I certainly couldn't be as offended if the remake was less than fantastic. Second, on the (highly likely) chance that the film was terrible... It's been a short while since we've had a scathingly negative review at Critical-Film.com. Lastly, I had made plans with a friend to go see it, and I try not to be an asshole... I'm good like that.

The movie, as anyone familiar with series is most certainly aware, Is not a remake of the first, second or third film. It is an origin story, carved nearly from scratch by writers Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (who also penned the screenplay for 2003's Freddy vs. Jason) There are slight ties to the original film, as a re-enactment of the original's climax is intercut with the opening credits, serving to establish the story, as well as functioning as a springboard for the films expectedly simplistic structure. It's a little hammy as you watch it, but it does serve two necessary functions; it educates viewers, who may not be familiar with the original series, as to the early origin of Jason Vorhees and his mother. Secondly, it allows us to get right to the action... the meat of the story if you will... Senseless violence and unnecessary nudity – the heart and lifeblood of any respectable slasher film. While the nudity is there... in abundance... the kills are hardly memorable. More on that in just a moment.

I'd like to finish commenting on the film's structure if I may, as it is constructed in a manner that is truly odd. After the opening credits (read: simple prologue) our story begins... A group of teens, hiking through the woods has to set up camp for the night... You see, their looking for a large growth of the ever-popular marijuana plant, which they plan to sell... and make a killing off of (Zing!). 5 kids – 2 couples, and a somewhat weird 5th wheel... Any guesses as to what these couples are doing in the middle of the woods... in the dark... in a tent, even. If you guessed premarital sex, you guessed right. And as everyone knows, in the unwritten book of the horror film (non) survivalist... That may as well be a death sentence. And it is, as roughly 25 minutes later, our group of ambitious young entrepreneurs are as dead as yesterday. As Jason takes a final vicious slice with his machete, BANG, a title card that reads, Friday the 13th. What the hell? Apparently, the prologue that occurred throughout the opening credits was just a pre-prologue for the 25 minute prologue I just watched... Hmmm...

Anyway, from there, the real story begins, as another group of teens ventures into the woods... this time in the safety of a cabin. Lucky them, 'cause as we all know, Jason doesn't attack kids in cabins. (Sarcasm, of course) That being said, this is where the movie sort of comes unglued. The opening 20-25 minutes, were an entertaining attempt at appealing to an audience who really wanted nothing more than to see Jason rip some kids a new orifice or two. From there, I suppose we need some sort of story, and while I can deal with traditional contrivances like horny teenagers, I have a hard time buying into two things in particular in relation to Friday the 13th, the first is over-manipulated plot points that showcase nothing but a lack of ambition and originality on the part of the writers. I won't mention any particular points, but I'm sure you'll see one or two.

The second, certainly the most important flaw of the film, is that there are a couple of scenes which, in a sense, paint Jason as more of a human being than I think he should have been. Jason is a one-dimensional character with a singular focus, and the writers provide him with a depth never recognized before in any of the films. While this would be praise in another film series, it serves as a distraction, here... Not unlike Rob Zombie's Halloween, in which too much attention was paid to developing the motivation and psychology behind Michael's actions. This is a different and far more simplistic approach, but serves to degrade the character and franchise in a similar fashion. i.e. Jason has a number of traps set in the woods, to notify him of any innocent passer-by. This is just one characteristic that makes Jason seem much more human than he should. He is a monster, and should in no way be interpreted as the least bit human. It only serves to discredit the character.

These slight grievances aside, the million dollar question is, “Is it scary?” Yes and no. There is a distinct difference between fear and surprise. The film is not scary in the traditional sense, yet director Nispel takes every opportunity to make a quick edit with a loud shriek or crash on the soundtrack in order to make his audience jump. I will admit that even I jumped once or twice, but that's easy... I've seen commercials on the internet that could make me jump. So, really that's not much of an accomplishment. There is no substitute for genuine fear or terror, and Friday the 13th is sorely lacking. But, as mentioned, the original series wasn't exactly scary either...

If you can agree to not draw the immediate expected comparisons, and watch Nispel's film as the start of a new franchise (As it undoubtedly will become)... Then there are a handful of moments that are moderately enjoyable, but not often enough that I could extend a recommendation. Friday the 13th is about as good as modern remakes seem to get, and even that's not particularly good. I did however, enjoy myself slightly more than I had expected to, and that certainly warrants mention. But that could just be attributed to going into a film with drastically lowered expectations...