House of Wax (2005) - Review and Analysis by Jason Pitt for Critical-Film.com

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House of Wax A film review by Jason Pitt For Critical-film.com   FIRST OFF, LET ME START BY SAYING "PARIS HILTON IS TRULY A TERRIBLE ACTRESS." THAT BEING SAID, SHE'S BARELY IN THIS FILM, WHICH IS QUITE A RELIEF. FROM THE MOMENT SHE DELIVERED HER FIRST LINE, I TREMBLED AT THE THOUGHT THAT SHE MAY ACTUALLY APPEAR IN MORE MOVIES AFTER THIS. THAT'S A SCARY THOUGHT. HAD SHE APPEARED IN IT MORE OFTEN, I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE ENJOYED IT AS MUCH AS I DID.   A GROUP OF TEENS ARE STRANDED ON THEIR WAY TO A FOOTBALL GAME. AFTER ONE OF THEIR VEHICLES IS VANDALIZED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, TWO OF THE GROUP - CARLY (ELISHA CUTHBERT OF TV'S "24", MY PERSONAL FAVORITE SHOW ON TELEVISION), AND HER BOYFRIEND, WADE (PLAYED BY JARED PADALECKI, WHO CAN BE SEEN IN A RATHER SHORT LIST OF PRETTY TERRIBLE MOVIES, INCLUDING THE OLSEN TWINS "NEW YORK MINUTE", AND THE RECENT "CRY WOLF"), HEAD INTO TOWN WITH A CREEPY TRUCKER THEY WITNESS DUMPING DEAD DEER INTO A LITERAL PIT OF ROADKILL THAT LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN DEVELOPING FOR YEARS. THEY ARRIVE IN A MISERABLE GHOST TOWN, CALLED AMBROSE, WHICH HOUSES THE TITULAR "HOUSE OF WAX". OBVIOUSLY, THE TOWN IS NOT EXACTLY AS IT SEEMS.   HOUSE OF WAX IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT A GREAT FILM, NOR IS IT EVEN A PARTICULARILY GOOD FILM. THE TWO CENTRAL CHARACTERS, CARLY, AND HER TWIN BROTHER, NICK (CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY, "A CINDERELLA STORY") ARE THE ONLY CHARACTERS IN THE FILM WITH ANY DEPTH, AND EVEN THE AMOUNT OF DEVELOPMENT PUT INTO THESE CHARACTERS IS MINIMAL. THE SECONDAY CAST SERVES ABSOLUTELY NO PURPOSE, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF DYING RATHER UNEXCEPTIONAL DEATHS. SO, NEEDLESS TO SAY IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR CREATIVE MURDER SEQUENCES, SKIP IT.   THE PLOT ITSELF IS ALSO VERY WEAK. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO'VE SEEN THE ORIGINAL VINCENT PRICE VERSION (VINCENT PRICE IS PAID HOMAGE IN THIS FILM), THE PLOT OF THIS FILM IS VASTLY DIFFERENT. THE ONLY SIGNIFICANT SIMILARITY BEING... WELL, THE PRESENCE OF A HOUSE OF WAX, OF COURSE. YET THE HOUSE OF WAX IS QUITE DIFFERENT IN ITSELF, IT'S NO LONGER A PUBLIC ATTRACTION, AS IN THE 1953 VERSION, AND THE HOUSE ITSELF IS MADE ENTIRELY OF WAX. NICE TOUCH. THE DIFFERENCES DON'T END THERE, BUT I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL IT FOR YOU. ALSO WORTH MENTIONING, THE KILLER KIND OF RESEMBLES OZZY OSBOURNE. TO BAD HE DOESN'T SPEAK... I'D LIKE TO SEE HIM RAMBLE LIKE A DRUNKARD.   THERE IS SOME IMAGERY USED IN THE FILM, WHICH, I GUESS WAS INTENDED TO BE SIGNIFICANT SYMBOLISM, YET LACKS SUBTLETY. IN FACT IT IS BLATANTLY IN YOUR FACE. IN PARTICULAR DURING THE FINAL SCENE. I HATE TO USE THE WORD CHEEZY, BUT...   I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS FILM, BUT I'D RATHER TALK ABOUT WHY I STILL ENDED UP LIKING IT. FIRSTLY, WHILE THE FILM, AS A WHOLE IS NOT PARTICULARILY WELL CRAFTED, THERE ARE A NUMBER OF WELL DONE SET PIECES. IN PARTICULAR, A SCENE INVOLVING, SIMPLY, A KNIFE, A GIRL, AND A STEEL GRATING UNDER FOOT. ALSO, I WOULD HAVE ENJOYED THIS MOVIE A LOT MORE, HAD THE ENTIRE FILM RUN LIKE THE FIRST HALF HOUR, BEFORE THEY REACH THE TOWN, AND SAID WAX MUSEUM. THE FIRST HALF OF THE FILM IS PUT TOGETHER IN SUCH A WAY THAT IT RESEMBLES, STRONGLY AT TIMES, A MORE CLASSIC HORROR FILM, PROBABLY FROM THE 70'S. I NOTICED THIS PARTICULARILY DURING THE SCENE IN WHICH THE TRUCKDRIVER, DELIVERING HIS ROADKILL TO THE AFOREMENTIONED PIT, BACKS IN, DEAD DEER IN THE TRUCK BOX, AND A NUMBER OF VICIOUS LOOKING GADGETS DANGLING JUST BEHIND THE REAR WINDOW.   IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING GENUINELY SCARY, YOU PROBABLY WON'T FIND IT HERE, BUT HOUSE OF WAX IS STILL QUITE ENJOYABLE, WHEN TAKEN ON ITS OWN TERMS. IN COMPARISON TO THE CLASSICS, IT'LL NEVER HOLD UP, BUT THEN AGAIN, WHAT WILL? COMPARED TO A LOT OF THE DRECK OF THE LAST FEW YEARS, HOUSE OF WAX IS ONLY DECENT, BUT I CAN'T GIVE IT ANY MORE THAN THAT.   (2 1/2 Stars)   This review was provided in HTML format, as your browser is not capable of displaying flash content. To experience Critical-Film.com the way it was meant to be seen, please download the flash player from <a href="http://www.adobe.com/shockwave/download/download.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash&promoid=BIOW">Macromedia</a>.