As many of you may know by now, I am an unapologetic fan of Uwe Boll's work. He gets slammed universally by his internet critics, and has used this (what has become a sport of sorts) as a way to gain notoriety and small rock stardom. Critics, I have maintained have been wholly unfair to him. From House of the Dead to In the Name of the King, Boll has produced films that have entertained me every single time. You may not appreciate some technical merits of his work (they have been inconsistent from picture to picture), but you can never argue with the energy and passion that he infuses each of his movies with. If you walk out of an Uwe Boll movie and fail to have a good time, either you're just a bigger cynic than I am, or you simply have no soul.

Seed is a different kind of animal altogether. It plays to the tune of anger and aggressiveness, and not in a fun way. In a genuine way, as though the people who made it were in some way socially unbalanced and pissed off at the world for mocking them despite their helplessness. I am shocked that it even exists, and I am at a loss as to how to critique it.

As a responsible human being, I should tell you to avoid it. For hours after having watched Seed I walked about my house in a daze, disgusted by what I had just witnessed. There's no payoff, no scene that lets you know that everything is okay. There's not even a part of the film that allows you to breathe for a second, as there often are in pictures such as these. I could go into great depth describing how nasty this picture is, breaking it down scene-by-repugnant-scene, but whatever I write wouldn't do it justice.

“You should check it out. You'd really like it!” is just not something I'd be willing to say with a clear conscience. You shouldn't see it. It will do nothing for you, but make you feel sick inside.

As a responsible film critic who can recognize Seed's merits, I should demand that you see it. It's the most technically sound of Boll's work, and as close as he's come to art since he broke into the film industry. It's relentless and horrible, but unlike a film like Jack Frost (with Michael Keaton) this one actually wants to be. I have no problem with a director who wishes to express a dark side of himself cinematically, and if this is how it comes out, how can I beat him up for that? It's a solid film that doesn't compromise itself for one second.

So how do I conclude? Seed is a morally reprehensible picture. It's not a movie to take to parties and get drunk with and have a good time. It's shocking, entirely unlike anything Boll has done, and it makes you feel like shit. But it is self-indulgent and hell, I guess it's art. Effective art and I applaud it. Whether or not you should see it, is up to you.