- Udo Kier as Baron Frankenstein - "Flesh for Frankenstein"

"Five Across the Eyes"

I am writing my review for "Five Across the Eyes" quite drastically, after the fact. It's been nearly a month since I watched Greg Swinson & Ryan Thiessen's film, but immediately after my viewing, I attempted to pen a review, yet found I had nothing noteworthy to say about it. Based on the impact the film had on some other viewers, and the resultant anticipation I had going in, I expected something brilliant. Yet the film failed to live up to that manufactured hype.

"Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

I haven't written anything for Critical Film in over a year.

I come back out of the blue after the absence, and what do I feel the need to write about? A film that is over a month into its theatre run, that has already had its buzz, gathered its fans, and is in that in-between stage where it is mostly forgotten by the public. It is temporarily culturally obsolete, and most of those who had desire to see it have done so already.

I am well aware of this situation. Trust me. So why "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" to break the silence, you ask?

"Frankenfish"

"Frankenfish" is a great name for a B-horror movie, isn't it? It conjures to mind images of some demented living-dead aquatic creature, pasted together with pieces of other members of the Pisces family, like some twisted, fishy jigsaw puzzle. It really is a wonderful thought. Too bad, the idea behind the film is nothing like the suggested concept, and is terribly clichéd. But, once again it is a B-movie, and you really can't expect a ton of originality.

"Frankenhooker"

Frank Henenlotter is a god among twisted horror directors. Not only has he directed three of the most bizarre and twisted horror films ever produced, "Basket Case", "Brain Damage", and the subject of this particular review, "Frankenhooker", but he's also responsible for the release of many unheard of low budget classics through the Something Weird DVD label.

"Freaked"

There was a time, before excessive CGI, that movies looked like "Freaked". I strongly believe that CGI is destroying much more creativity than it is creating, and therefore, I find myself longing for simpler days when puppetry and stop-motion ruled the special-effects movie world. These tools may not have been as versatile as computer effects, but they were tangible, dammit. Solid, and fun, and at times, unabashedly gross. Filmmakers accepted the fact that their effects didn't look realistic, and it gave them the freedom to make creatures that were over-the-top and silly. CGI effects want to be “real,” so (in most cases) they stifle the creativity of film crews, and create stale, stagnant movies. There are many things that I hate about modern cinema, but above all is the (almost) total lack of creativity.

"Frenzy"

"Frenzy" was Alfred Hitchcock's second to final film, released four years before "Family Plot", and has many of the characteristic aspects of his films, yet at times seems nothing like a work of Hitchcock. This is probably due to the inclusion of some rather unsettling violence, and what I believe is the only use of genuine female nudity in Hitch's catalogue. It all contributes to a film which is still quite high on tension, despite the reliance on some of the more extreme aspects of storytelling we're not necessarily accustomed to seeing in Alfred Hitchcock's films.